The INFP Door Slam: Understanding the Repulsion Switch that INFJs Also Have

As an INFP, have you ever suddenly cut someone out of your life without explanation? Perhaps they said or did something that hurt you deeply, or maybe they simply violated one of your core values. Whatever the reason, you may have activated what’s commonly known as the “INFP door slam.”

But what exactly is the INFP door slam, and how does it differ from the door slam that INFJs experience? In this post, we’ll explore the concept of the door slam in depth, including what triggers it, how it manifests, and what it says about the INFP personality type.

What is the Door Slam?

The door slam is a defensive mechanism that some INFPs (and INFJs) use to protect themselves from emotional pain. When someone crosses a boundary or causes significant emotional harm, the INFP may abruptly cut off all contact with them, effectively closing the “door” on the relationship. This can happen with romantic partners, friends, family members, and even coworkers.

The door slam is not a conscious decision, but rather a sudden and intense response to feeling hurt or betrayed. When an INFP feels that their trust has been violated or that they are not being respected, they may feel that the only way to protect themselves is to sever the relationship completely. This can be a painful process for the INFP, as it often involves grieving the loss of what was once a close connection.

The INFP door slam is different from simply ending a relationship or setting boundaries. While ending a relationship is a conscious decision that is typically communicated to the other person, the door slam is an emotional reaction that may not be fully understood or explained. The INFP may simply stop responding to messages or avoid the other person altogether, leaving them to wonder what they did wrong.

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What Causes the Door Slam?

The INFP door slam is triggered by a violation of the INFP’s core values or beliefs. INFPs are deeply empathetic and idealistic, and they may hold certain principles as non-negotiable. When someone violates one of these principles, the INFP may feel that they can no longer associate with them.

For example, an INFP who values honesty and integrity may cut off a friend who habitually lies or manipulates others. Similarly, an INFP who values empathy and compassion may distance themselves from someone who is consistently judgmental or unkind.

The triggers for the door slam can vary widely depending on the individual INFP’s values and experiences. Some common triggers include betrayal, dishonesty, disrespect, and manipulation.

How Does the Door Slam Manifest?

The INFP door slam typically involves a sudden and complete cut-off of communication. The INFP may stop responding to messages or calls, unfriend or block the other person on social media, and avoid any events or places where they may run into them. This can be confusing and hurtful to the other person, who may have no idea what they did wrong.

The door slam may also involve a sense of emotional repulsion toward the other person. The INFP may feel queasy or uncomfortable when thinking about or interacting with the person, as if their very presence is toxic. This repulsion switch is a self-protective mechanism that helps the INFP avoid further emotional damage.

INFP Door Slam vs. INFJ Door Slam

The door slam is not unique to INFPs but is also experienced by INFJs. While the triggers and manifestations of the door slam are similar between the two types, there are some key differences.

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One major difference is that INFJs are more likely to give clear communication to the person they are cutting off. They may explain their reasons for ending the relationship or set clear boundaries for how they want to proceed. INFPs, on the other hand, may simply disappear without explaining themselves.

Another difference is that INFJs may be more likely to give the other person a chance to make amends or change their behavior. They may see the relationship as salvageable and want to work through the problems with the other person. INFPs, on the other hand, may feel that the relationship is irreparably damaged and that the only option is to end it completely.

When Should You Fear an INFP’s Door Slam?

While the door slam can be painful and confusing for the other person involved, it is not inherently harmful or dangerous. INFPs are typically peaceful and non-confrontational, and their door slams are a way of protecting themselves from further emotional pain.

However, there are some situations where an INFP’s door slam should be taken seriously. If the INFP is feeling threatened or abused, they may use the door slam as a way of escaping a dangerous situation. If you are the target of an INFP’s door slam and are concerned for your safety, it is important to seek help and take precautions to ensure your well-being.

Do INFPs Have a Door Slam?

Yes, INFPs are known for their door slam behavior. However, not all INFPs will use the door slam, and some may use it more frequently than others depending on their individual values and experiences.

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What is a Broken INFP Like?

An INFP who has experienced a significant emotional injury may be withdrawn, depressed, and distant. They may struggle to trust others and may have difficulty connecting with people on a deep level. However, with time and support, a broken INFP can heal and recover their trust in others.

When Do INFPs Door Slam?

INFPs may door slam when they feel that their core values or beliefs have been violated. This can happen in any type of relationship, but is most common in romantic partners and close friends.

Which Personality Type Has a Door Slam?

The door slam is most commonly experienced by INFPs and INFJs, but it can occur in any personality type. However, INFPs and INFJs are more likely to use the door slam as a way of protecting themselves from emotional pain.

Is It Hard for INFPs to Open Up?

Yes, INFPs can be hesitant to open up to others, as they are deeply private and may fear rejection or judgment. However, with time and trust, INFPs can form close and meaningful connections with others.


The INFP door slam is a defensive mechanism that allows the INFP to protect themselves from emotional harm. While it can be painful and confusing for the other person involved, it is not inherently harmful and is a way for the INFP to take care of their own emotional well-being. By understanding the door slam and its triggers, INFPs can learn to set healthy boundaries and communicate their needs effectively, while still maintaining their core values and beliefs.