I Miss My Therapist Between Sessions: Why it Happens and What to Do About It

As a mental health client, you may have experienced the feeling of missing your therapist between sessions. It is not uncommon to feel a sense of longing for the support, guidance, and validation that therapy provides. However, these feelings can be overwhelming, and many clients may wonder if this is normal and how to deal with it.

In this blog post, we will explore the common reasons why clients miss their therapists between sessions, how to cope with these feelings, and what therapists think about their clients who become attached to them.

Is it Normal to Miss Your Therapist Between Sessions?

Yes, it is normal to miss your therapist between sessions. Therapy is a safe space where you can express your thoughts, emotions, and experiences without fear of judgment. It is common to feel a sense of comfort and security in the relationship with your therapist and to want to re-experience this connection when you are not in therapy.

Research shows that clients who feel a strong alliance with their therapists are more likely to have positive outcomes in therapy. This alliance can create a significant bond between clients and their therapists, which often extends beyond the therapy session.

Why Do I Miss My Therapist Between Sessions?

There are several reasons why you may miss your therapist between sessions. Understanding these reasons can help you cope with your feelings and move forward in therapy.

Attachment

One reason why clients miss their therapists between sessions is attachment. Attachment is a natural human instinct that drives us to seek emotional safety and security from others. In therapy, clients often build strong bonds with their therapists, as the therapist provides a safe and supportive environment for the client to explore their emotions and experiences.

As a result, clients may feel attached to their therapists and desire a continued emotional connection with them. However, it is essential to recognize that therapists are not the client’s friends nor their partners. The alliance between therapist and client should be treated as a professional relationship rather than a personal one.

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Emotional Dependence

Another reason why clients miss their therapists between sessions is an emotional dependency on the therapist. Emotional dependence occurs when a client becomes overly reliant on the therapist to meet their emotional needs. Clients may crave the validation and support provided by their therapist, especially if they are experiencing significant life stressors outside therapy.

While emotional dependence is common, it can hinder the progress in therapy if left unaddressed. Clients should strive to develop skills that help them self-soothe, regulate their feelings, and meet their emotional needs outside of therapy.

Life Transitions

Life transitions, including starting or ending a job, moving to a new city, or going through a significant life event, can increase the chances of missing your therapist. Clients may feel unsupported or vulnerable during these times, and therapy can provide a sense of stability and support.

However, it is essential to recognize that therapy is not a solution to life’s problems but rather a tool to help clients cope with them. It is crucial to develop strategies to manage stressful situations outside therapy and use therapy as a support rather than a solution.

Fear of Abandonment

Finally, clients may miss their therapist between sessions due to a fear of abandonment. This fear can stem from previous experiences with loss or rejection and can manifest in clients relying heavily on their therapist for emotional support and validation.

It is essential to address this fear in therapy and develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage the risk of emotional vulnerability in relationships.

How Do I Stop Being Attached to My Therapist?

  1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings – Acknowledge your emotions and validate the reasons why you miss your therapist.
  2. Discuss Your Attachment with Your Therapist – Speak with your therapist about your attachment and work together to develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage this attachment.
  3. Set Boundaries – Set boundaries with your therapist to ensure that you have a professional relationship that is beneficial for both parties.
  4. Develop Other Support Networks – Develop support networks outside of therapy that provide emotional support and validation.
  5. Practice Self-Care – Engage in activities that promote self-care and self-soothing, such as exercise, meditation, and mindfulness.
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What Can I Do When I Miss My Therapist?

  1. Write in a Journal – Writing in a journal can be a powerful tool for processing emotions and thoughts related to missing your therapist.
  2. Contact Your Therapist – Reach out to your therapist between sessions to discuss your feelings and connect with them for support.
  3. Seek Other Sources of Support – Connect with friends or family members who can provide emotional support and validation.
  4. Focus on Progress – Review the progress you have made in therapy so far and recognize how far you have come.
  5. Use Coping Strategies – Engage in activities that promote self-care and self-soothing, such as exercise, meditation, and mindfulness.

Does My Therapist Think About Me Between Sessions?

Yes, it is likely that your therapist thinks about you between sessions. However, it is essential to recognize that therapists have multiple clients to manage and focus on, so they may not be thinking about you as much as you think.

Therapists are trained to focus on providing quality care during therapy sessions and respecting the boundaries of the professional relationship. While they may think about their clients outside of therapy, it is essential to establish healthy boundaries in the relationship to ensure that it remains beneficial to both parties.

How to Detach from Your Therapist

Detaching from your therapist can be challenging, especially if you have developed a strong attachment to them. However, it is important to recognize when this attachment is becoming unhealthy and interfering with your progress in therapy.

  1. Address Your Attachment – Discuss your attachment with your therapist and work together to develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage this attachment.
  2. Set Boundaries – Set boundaries with your therapist to ensure that you have a professional relationship that is beneficial for both parties.
  3. Switch to Another Therapist – Consider switching to a different therapist if you feel that your current therapist is not helping you detach from them.
  4. Focus on Progress – Review the progress you have made in therapy so far and recognize how far you have come.
  5. Practice Self-Care – Engage in activities that promote self-care and self-soothing, such as exercise, meditation, and mindfulness.
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How Do Therapists Feel About Clients Who Get Attached to Them?

Therapists understand that attachment is a natural human instinct and that clients may develop attachment to them. However, it is essential to recognize when this attachment is becoming unhealthy and interfering with progress in therapy.

Therapists strive to maintain healthy boundaries with their clients and focus on providing quality care during therapy sessions. If a client is becoming overly attached, therapists may work with the client to develop strategies to manage this attachment and prevent it from negatively impacting the therapeutic relationship.

Conclusion

In conclusion, missing your therapist between sessions is normal and natural. However, it is essential to address these feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing attachment and emotional dependence on your therapist. By doing so, you can create a professional relationship with your therapist that is beneficial to both parties and achieve positive outcomes in therapy. Remember that therapy is a tool to help you cope with life’s stressors, and it is crucial to develop strategies to manage these stressors outside of therapy.